Day 7

Bad night last night. Not feeling much like discussion.
problem is that they keep giving me fluids and I can't pee or shit. My stomach has become so bloated that i look like I'm pregnant with triplets. Hard to move around.
They want to make me swallow more pills but each pill feels like swallowing a football. So i refused ata first. So they stuck some stuff in the drip line to make me pee and that has been working, Now I can swallow their pills.
Very difficult to move around. very uncomfortable. A chest Xray this morning again. Another sonograrph on my belly tomorrow.
And I haven't even started the chemo yet.

Miss my wife. worry about the kids. I keep telling Nori to keep things as normal as possible for them. She wants to visit. I'd like that too but there is really nothing for her to do.
Hospital food is absolute crap. Had one slice of bread in the last 20 hours.

One of the nurses got me a Lipton Ice tea from the cafeteria. It was so nice I drank the lot and now I feel all bloated again. My fault.

There is 21 patients here. Most with the same problem I have. I never see any of them.

Enough for today. Sometimes dying might be the better option, especially the way I feel now. My sprirt is good though. I just tell myself I'm being a wussse